Hello, welcome to another week here at Humbly Courageous! I hope you are all making your way through this winter! In Indiana there seems to definitely be an endless string of dreary days. I feel like I’m not as affected as others I know that are very depressed by the lack of sunshine. However, when the sun comes out and it is so beautiful, I think to myself, I may be more affected than I think I am! It’s always so nice to see the sun even when it’s cold out.
I’ve written blog posts about my two sons before. I’ve shared that I carried each of my boys to full-term and delivered them both by cesarean section. I’ve shared what it was like to be pregnant with a disability and what that looked like for me. They are the true joys of my life. I credit them for my drive to stay motivated to push myself. I asked them both if they would be willing to share their thoughts this week on what it has been like having a mom with a disability. I felt their perspective could be helpful to others in a similar situation, and just shed a light on the children of a parent with a disability. They both quickly agreed to share, which I honestly wasn’t surprised about. They have always been willing to help, and especially as they are getting older, now 15 and 19 years old. I think they see that having a mom with a disability has shown them some unique perspective and instilled an empathy that some wouldn’t have at their ages. So without further ado, I will share their perspectives.
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| All grown up pushing me around NYC 🍎 |
1. What is something that you have learned through having a mom with a disability?
Jack (15) Seeing things through a different perspective and how someone’s challenges can have a bigger impact on their life than what meets the eye.
Luke (19) From a young age it taught me to see from other’s perspectives.
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| Luke mapping our way through NYC, Jack hitching a ride with mom |
2. What has been the biggest challenge of having a mom with a disability?
Jack…Having to do certain things like helping load the scooter in the car, carrying stuff around a lot, and other little things, but all of that becomes second nature and you don’t think about it much since it’s not that hard to do.
Luke…Trying to get new friends and strangers to understand could be difficult at times.
3. Do you see me differently than other moms, or am I just a mom that does all the things a mom would typically do for her child?
Jack..When I was younger I would maybe see my Mom as a little bit different than the other moms but the only thing that was different was the way she walked and everything else about her was the same as everyone else. Now that I’m older I don’t separate my mom with other parents since this is what I’ve known all my life and she works hard to be able to do a lot of the things a parent without a disability can do.
Luke…I have never thought of you differently. Your disability has never limited you from being a great mom and so much more.
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| Team Humbly Courageous Muscle Walk |
4. Do you see me as a strong and capable human being, as a person with a disability?
Jack…I do see my Mom as a strong and capable human being especially since she has to work extra hard to do things that would be easy for everyone else, and you have to be mentally strong to live with what she does and go about life everyday with the constant struggle of having a disability.
Luke…Even more so. I think your disability requires daily perseverance and resilience that makes you stronger than most.
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| My beautiful boys give me strength |
When I sent them these talking points, I’m not sure I thought about how emotional their answers would make me. I hope they will always know that they are able to see these things in me because of their support. I love that they felt comfortable enough to share their true thoughts, especially on question #2. Being a child of a disabled parent has unique challenges, as well as a unique opportunity to see the world from a different perspective, as those with disabilities do. If you look at it as a gift, as an advantage, then it will be. Doing that takes humble courage and isn’t easy. I do think that in the end, it’s the best way. All families have their unique qualities that make them a family unit. Disability is just a part of ours. I’m so glad that I decided to take a chance on being a mom, not knowing what motherhood would look like with my disability, and having doubts if I could be the mom I wanted to be. I’m glad I proved myself wrong. 💚
For more on what pregnancy/parenting with a disability was like for me, check out these previous posts:
https://humblycourageous.blogspot.com/2021/02/becoming-mom-living-with-muscular.html?m=1
https://humblycourageous.blogspot.com/2021/02/becoming-mom-living-with-muscular_26.html?m=1